Patience - Part 6: Growing in Patience
You can’t manufacture patience.
I know this because I’ve tried. I’ve told myself to “be more patient” like it’s a willpower problem. Like if I just try harder, control myself better, I’ll suddenly become a patient person.
It doesn’t work. Because patience isn’t a behavior we manufacture—it’s a fruit we grow.
The Difference Between Trying and Abiding
Jesus makes this clear in one of His most important teachings:
“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine.” — John 15:4
The word “remain” is key. In Greek, it’s menō—to stay, to dwell, to abide. Jesus isn’t saying “try harder to bear fruit.” He’s saying “stay connected to me, because without me, you can do nothing.”
Patience isn’t self-control. It’s Christ-control. It’s the Holy Spirit producing patience in us as we abide in Him.
That’s good news. It means:
- You don’t have to white-knuckle patience
- You’re not failing if you don’t feel patient yet
- Growth happens as you stay connected, not as you strive harder
Paul describes it this way:
“Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.” — Galatians 5:16
Walk in the Spirit. Not “try harder to resist the flesh.” The Spirit produces the fruit—including patience—when we’re walking with Him.
Spiritual Disciplines That Build Patience
So how do we “abide” and “walk in the Spirit”? Here are practical disciplines that create space for patience to grow:
Prayer When we pray, we practice waiting. We bring our requests to God and… wait. We don’t demand immediate answers. We learn that God’s timing is not our timing. Prayer trains our hearts to trust rather than control.
Scripture Meditation The Bible renews our mind about timing. When we meditate on verses like Isaiah 40:31—“they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength”—we’re reprogramming our instinctive rush with trust.
Fasting Fasting teaches us that we don’t need immediate gratification. When we voluntarily deny ourselves something we want, we’re practicing patience in small ways that compound over time.
Sabbath One day a week, we practice trusting that God will handle things without us. We rest. We let go. We’re forced to admit: the world doesn’t depend on me being in constant motion. Sabbath is patience training.
Service When we put others first, we’re choosing their timeline over ours. We’re waiting for them, serving them, considering them more important than ourselves (Philippians 2:3). Service kills our sense of entitlement to our own time.
The Role of Community
Here’s something we often miss: patience is learned in community.
The author of Hebrews encourages us:
“Consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together… encouraging one another.” — Hebrews 10:24-25
We don’t grow in isolation. We need patient people around us to model patience. We need brothers and sisters who walk slowly with us when we’re struggling. We need community that doesn’t write us off when we’re slow to change.
Who are the patient people in your life? Are you learning from them?
The Holy Spirit Is the Grower
I want to leave you with this reassurance: you are not responsible for growing your own fruit.
“God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.” — 2 Corinthians 9:8
The Holy Spirit produces the fruit. We simply abide. We stay connected. We practice the disciplines. We lean into community. And the Spirit grows patience in us—often slowly, often painfully, but surely.
It’s okay if you don’t feel patient yet. Fruit doesn’t ripen overnight. The branch doesn’t force the apple. It simply stays in the vine, and the vine does the work.
A 30-Day Patience Challenge
If you want to be intentional about growing in patience, here’s a simple plan:
Week 1: Practice pausing before reacting. When frustrated, take three breaths before speaking.
Week 2: Add a prayer discipline—10 minutes daily of simply waiting on God in silence.
Week 3: Fast something small each day—coffee, social media, a meal. Practice denial of immediate wants.
Week 4: Serve someone each day in a small way without expecting recognition.
Every day: Read one patience Scripture and ask God to grow His patience in you.
A Prayer for Today
Father, I confess that I’ve tried to manufacture patience on my own—and failed. Help me to understand that patience is Your gift, grown in me as I abide in Christ. Teach me to walk in the Spirit. Give me the discipline to stay connected to You through prayer, Scripture, fasting, Sabbath, and community. Grow Your patience in me—not because I’m doing it perfectly, but because I’m staying close to the Vine. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Tomorrow: We’ll close our Patience series with a final reflection on what it means to wait well—and how to carry this fruit forward into the rest of your life.
Reflection question: What’s one spiritual discipline you could commit to this week to grow in patience? What’s keeping you from practicing it today?